Today is just another day in the books for many. For others it’s a sad day. A beautiful human is in the hospital as I write this, taking her last breaths, while her loved ones say their goodbyes. Everyone’s crying while praying for a miracle, some are toasting her at their favorite bar, and others are honoring her privately.
What does one say when they’re given the opportunity to actually say goodbye to a loved one before they quietly slip off to heaven? It’s not often that we’re given that opportunity, because death usually doesn’t come with a warning. It’s only times like these, sad as they are, that we can let a loved one know exactly everything we want them to know, straight from our heart. But why is it mostly common for these words, deepest from within, to be shared at times like these, or at their funeral?
If the last time I saw her I’d said these things to her, she would’ve looked at me like I was crazy. It’s not the day-to-day conversation you have with someone, especially someone you only see at their work. But I would’ve said:
You’re a beautiful person, I can tell. You have an obvious love of children. I love how you love my grandkids. I love how you’re honest and open, and you don’t act like anyone is a stranger. People obviously love you. I can’t picture you ever being fake, and that’s a rare trait in people these days. I genuinely liked you since the first time we met. You have a pretty smile. Yeah, she’s just spunky enough to tell me I’m a weirdo. But that’s ok. 😊
In the past years, I’ve lost some friends. After their passing, it was easier to find mushy things to say about them. I saw a lot of Facebook posts with really sweet sentiments as well. These things would be so nice to hear while we’re alive, but it’s just not the norm. I guess we just take it for granted and don’t think that deep until they’re gone. Sure, we say the usual things like someone’s funny or nice, or compliment their looks or whatever, but to give them a whole paragraph on the things we admire, appreciate and respect about them would really make someone’s day, while they’re alive.
Then there’s the subject of who we’re close to and who are our acquaintances. We still have positive things to say about our acquaintances. (like the sweet soul I talked about above, she’s an acquaintance of mine) You could send a note to an acquaintance saying the nice things and risk them trying to have you committed or filing a restraining order. Or maybe they will appreciate the gesture. The people we’re closer to might be used to hearing it or might never hear it at all because we take it for granted that “they know.”
I made a phone call today to someone who I normally don’t talk to except for once in a blue moon. He happened to text me yesterday on my birthday, so I felt more comfortable doing exactly what I’ve been talking about: tell someone today what I would say after they were gone. I’d been putting it off because of the reaction I thought I’d get, and the reaction was quite the opposite. I’m glad I did it, and I plan on working on my positivity more in the future.
I’m so happy that so many people have been able to spend today saying their prayers and/or goodbyes to such a sweet and loved human being. Soon she will be taken home to heaven, where she will be reunited with the child she lost. It’s so hard to understand how things like this can happen, and happen so quickly. Why her, why so young, etc. Then I look at others who are taking life for granted and there isn’t a damn thing anyone can say or do to make them realize the gifts they have right in front of them. If you wake up, be thankful. If you have a family, be grateful. If you want more than that, go out and get it, because anyone can get it and everyone deserves it!
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